What Should I Do If My Co-Parent Violates the Custody Agreement?

When a co-parent violates the custody agreement, it can leave you feeling frustrated, unsure, and even a bit helpless. After all, parenting plans are put in place to create structure and stability for you, your co-parent, and, most importantly, your children. Whether your co-parent is consistently late, refusing visitation, or making unilateral decisions without your input, knowing what steps to take can make all the difference in resolving the situation effectively and protecting your family’s well-being.

Step 1: Keep Calm and Document Everything

Understandably, discovering a custody violation can stir up strong emotions. However, it’s important to remain calm and focused on resolving the issue in the best interests of your children. Before accusing or escalating the situation, document all incidents thoroughly. Keep a log of missed visits, late arrivals, or breaches in decision-making responsibilities outlined in the custody agreement. For example, if your co-parent refuses to return your child at the agreed-upon time, write down the date, time, and specific details of what happened.

Additionally, save any text messages, emails, or voice messages that relate to the violation. This evidence could be crucial in supporting your case if legal intervention becomes necessary.

Step 2: Open a Line of Communication

Custody violations are often the result of misunderstandings rather than intentional disregard for the agreement. Try reaching out to your co-parent to discuss the problem calmly and constructively. For instance, you might say, “I noticed you were an hour late for pick-up last weekend; is something preventing you from sticking to the schedule?” This approach demonstrates your priority is resolving the issue for the sake of your child, which can sometimes de-escalate tensions.

However, if communication has historically been difficult or if you believe the violation was deliberate, proceed with caution. It may be more productive to communicate through your attorneys or a neutral third party to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Step 3: Focus on the Best Interests of the Child

Amidst disagreements, keep in mind that your child’s well-being is the heart of your custody agreement. For example, if a violation like denying you visitation happens, refrain from speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your child. While it’s tempting to express frustration, shielding your child from these conflicts helps maintain their sense of security and stability.

Step 4: Seek Mediation or Legal Assistance

If violations persist or escalate, it may be time to involve a family law professional. A parenting coordinator or mediator can help facilitate discussions between you and your co-parent to find solutions without returning to court. For example, they might help tweak your schedule to minimize conflicts or address ongoing communication barriers.

However, if mediation fails to resolve the issue, legal action may be necessary. You can petition the court to enforce the custody agreement. Depending on the severity and frequency of the violations, the court may impose penalties, require make-up parenting time, or modify the custody agreement to reflect the child’s best interests.

Step 5: Understand Your Legal Rights

Illinois law prioritizes the child’s welfare and expects both parents to follow court orders faithfully. If your co-parent’s actions are consistently disruptive, violating the custody agreement is a serious matter. Courts in Illinois can hold a parent in contempt for non-compliance and, in extreme cases, modify custody arrangements to ensure the child’s stability and safety.

For example, if a co-parent frequently schedules activities during your court-ordered parenting time to prevent you from seeing your child, the court could adjust decision-making responsibilities or designate a neutral third party to oversee the schedule.

Moving Forward After a Violation

Navigating custody violations can be draining, but you are not alone. At Hammer Serna & Quinn, LLC, we understand how emotionally challenging these situations can be, and we’re here to empower you with the legal resources necessary to protect your parental rights and your child’s well-being.

If you’re facing ongoing custody agreement violations, schedule a consultation with our experienced family law attorneys today. We will help you explore your options, address the violations, and work towards solutions that prioritize stability for your family.